People
seemed to have a lot of thoughts after church today- many of them inspired by
the wedding vows that I read before the lighting of the Christ Candle.
I
had commented on the vows that a 23 year old groom offered his bride at a wedding
on Saturday – vows that included:
I
take your hand, body and soul in marriage today….
I
take them with the goal of bettering myself as man
and us as a couple
I
take them with the promise of new adventures
And good days on the horizon.
I
promise to be worthy of your love,
To be kind, patient and forgiving.
I
promise to be everything you've ever wanted
and everything you expect me to be…
(this
was about ¼ of the total vow).
I
think that that kind of unfettered, joyous desire to give a lover everything, even beyond reason, is
the treasure and privilege of being 23. (maybe even the responsibility)
After the wedding 5 men (including myself), all with more than 20 years of marriage, suggested that 23 year olds should be mentored in writing their vows, by those who have married for at least 20 years. Together, as we sipped prosecco and toasted the happy couple, we came up with what we would consider real wedding vows:
I
promise to love you
and
keep trying when I get it wrong.
I
promise to never tell you “to relax”
I
promise to not make fun of your favourite TV shows.
I
promise to never make faces when going to visit your family.
I
promise to let you complain about your mother
without joining in.
I
promise to understand that when our first child arrives,
I will no longer be number one in your life.
I
promise that, when our third child arrives,
I will be happy with being anywhere in the
top 10.
I
promise to not hold grudges,
never keep score
and accept forgiveness graciously.
I
promise to keep laughing… at myself… at
us…. at life…
but
always with you.
So,
what would you include in your wedding vows if you could go back in time???
It's amazing how much inspiration can be found in mere words and yet for some, they can hold much sorrow. I have enjoyed reading the blogs as they have been my only connection to the church, having felt threatened and intimidated. Thank you for continuing to share them. ~Amber
ReplyDeleteAmber, I'm sorry for you feeling that way.. I'm not sure how I can change that other than to assure you that you are always welcome in our eyes... Lee-Ann and I consider you part of the congregation and are always glad to see you. I'm glad that you're reading the blogs and I will hope for a change in the weather sooner than later....
ReplyDeleteAfter almost a decade of marriage, I still like the ones we wrote before our wedding - perfection is hard to achieve, but we do aspire to the values laid out and they are general enough to withstand a bit of bad weather. Perhaps I would add a few specifics, which I notice made up the bulk of your reconstructed vows.
ReplyDeleteI promise to love and respect you, care for and protect you; Be considerate, faithful and kind.
I will communicate openly and listen to you with compassion and understanding.
I will share with you my laughter and my tears, my joy and my sadness, my hopes and my fears, my dreams and disappointments.
I will learn from you and with you and encourage you to grow and forever be your true and loyal friend.
I will play with you and work beside you and help you build a home filled with love and happiness.
With all that I am and all that I have, I will love you for the rest of my life.
Lovely vows... May I borrow them? Actually, share them with prospective couples as inspiration? I will share them only IF I hear from you.
ReplyDeleteSure! They've worked well for us... might as well pass them on!
ReplyDeleteThat’s amazing blog and great information. Couple of days back my friend got married in church. Have heard same vows there. It was really awesome to see the view and after that a party was held at wedding venues Los Angeles. Had a great time.
ReplyDelete